Friday, July 30, 2010

Married with children …and no longer complaining!

PHIL 2:14(NIV) Do everything without complaining or arguing

I have been married for over 11 years and God has blessed us with three beautiful children. Like most working moms I spend 40- 60 hours a week working in my profession and then come home and spend the rest of the over 100 hours working another full time job being a mother and a wife. I put 100 % of myself in all I do and am not ashamed to say I do a pretty good job of it all. I’m am up before anyone else is up, I find some time to exercise, I make breakfast, fix lunch bags, start dinner, start a load of laundry, feed the baby and take the kids to school. I make my rounds at the hospital and then head over to the office to see my first patient all before 9am. After work it’s dance class for the kids, homework, dinner, finish that load of laundry, get clothes ready for tomorrow, hair time, bath time, whew! When daddy comes home he gets a big hug from the kids, puts them to bed, and then asks “what’s for dinner!!” The next day it is much of the same. I know I can’t be the only one with a schedule like that! I personally know women with longer to- do lists than mine!!

After a while though, if we lose our focus and forget to thank God for the strength He provides us with to do all things then something happens that can throw our lives completely off balance. We start to complain. I found myself complaining about everything. I mean everything! I complained I was the only who took care of the house, and kids, and why did I have to be the one doing all the cooking, and why couldn’t I sleep late on the weekends and why can’t I come home and put my feet up and what about my feelings, blah, blah, blah, blah!! I even complained to myself about complaining so much. It was driving my husband crazy and I know the kids wondered why I looked so stressed out all the time. Complaining was sucking all of my energy and I knew I had to stop.

But God…God is so good, so merciful, and so gracious in all His ways! He reminded me gently the words found in Philippians 2:14-16 “Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life- in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing.” Of course the Lord corrected my motives too! He said “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” (Colossians 3: 23-24) Finally, the Lord exposed my selfishness and let me know that my complaining was not in line with the noble character of the virtuous woman- the wife whose husband has full confidence in and whose children call her blessed. (Proverbs 31:10-31). What a wake-up call that was for me!!

I am married with children and I no longer complain. I set about my day vigorously just like the virtuous woman. I look at all I do as an opportunity to serve Him- my Lord, my Savior. I look to the hills because that is where my help comes from. His Spirit lifts me up when I am down and where I am weak then I am confident He is strong. I thank and praise God so much more than I used to that there’s no room in my heart to complain! Patience and peace live there now, and I am a better wife and mother for it!

written by Maribel Scott

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Travailing

Jeremiah 9:17-18:
Thus saith the Lord of host, consider ye, and call for the mourning women, that they may come; and send for cunning(skillful) women, that they may come; And let them make haste, and take up a wailing for us, that our eyes may run down with tears, and our eyelids gush out with waters.

There will be times when our husband will not only need us to just pray for him, but to travail on his behalf. (There will also be times when we will need them to travail for us.) Men face so many different issues, that they need us praying for them without ceasing. Some issues require for us to travail on their behalf; for breakthrough, to destroy yokes, to pull down strongholds.

When our husbands are weak, The Bible says that the Holy Spirit travails through us. "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance to the will of God." Romans 8:26-27

We can contribute to our husband’s happiness by travailing in prayer for them. Travail about issues that are most dear to their hearts.

Travailing can mean to bare, bring forth, or distress. Travailing can even mean to act as a midwife to one. What does a midwife do? A midwife helps bring new life. Travailing and pouring out your heart on behalf of your husband (or anyone) brings about great change. Through travailing prayer we can powerfully intercede for our husbands and such intercession involves spiritual warfare and the birthing of miracles. How awesome is that; that God entrusts us with the responsibility of birthing miracles!

Whether your husband has been saved for years, just a few days, or is not saved at all, both of you will benefit greatly from your travailing prayers.
Jesus spent so much time travailing in prayer, weeping before His heavenly father. Let’s follow His example. Another saint that comes to mind that travailed in the bible is Hannah. Hannah was barren and travailed in prayer to have a child. It did not come to her easily. Hannah travailed before the Lord so hard, that Eli thought she was drunk. She weeped, cried, moaned, and groaned so much so, she was mistaken for a drunk! Wow!

Travailing prayers work great victories; not only did the Lord give her a child, but she became the mother of 3 sons and 2 daughters.

Ladies, take time and travail for your husband when you feel his burden; and when you see the fruits of your labor, you can say like Hannah, “For this I prayed”! I Samuel 1:27 For this child I prayed; and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of him…

written by Angelica Hamilton

Friday, July 23, 2010

Self Evaluation

I just want to share my testimony about the power of prayer, self evaluation, and most of all Love. I have never participated in a community prayer, so when Stephanie invited me to call into the Morning Prayer on Thursday’s I was very hesitant. My marriage like several other marriages is not perfect. We have disagreements which leads to arguments that then leads to words being said that will eventually bruise that individual. This is how my marriage was going. Dr. Emerson Eggerich gave an awesome name for the actions that continued to occur in my marriage. Dr. Eggerich with Love and Respect called those events the “Crazy Cycle”. Even though I took responsibility for the things I may have done, did not do, say, or did not say, I continued to express to my husband what he was lacking to do, or say. He would always tell me “how can see my faults but can’t see yours”. I would just ignore him because I felt as though I entered our marriage under “false pretense”. I also felt as though he breached the contract for which we had both agreed too.

It was not until the Thursday morning I called in and actually poured my heart out to God. I didn’t speak my usual prayer of “Lord please change my husband. Lord open his eyes to see what he is doing wrong according to your word…” God lead me into a direction of praying that I had never done before. I began speaking about ME. I requested God to please show me what I am doing wrong. I asked him to please help me be the wife I was created to be according to His Word. I also asked God to help me be more SUBMISSIVE to the Head of my Household. I then began to hear His voice. It was so Loud and Clear I was overwhelmed. I believe God knew I was overwhelmed because it was if he gave me a hug and I was able to calm down to acknowledge, hear, and understand what he was saying to me. He sent me to his word Matthew 7:1-5:

1 “Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. 3 And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

When He said this to me I then understood what my husband was saying to me all along. We as women sometimes like to look at our spouses and blame them for all the wrong that occurs. We tend to “knit pick” every little thing our husband does wrong. We should take a step back and think about what have we done or did not do that could have contributed to the issue we are facing. We also have to realize that it is not our spouse we are fighting against but it is the ENEMY. According to Ephesians 6:10-12
Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. 11Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
He also made me aware that if I claim to have the Holy Spirit dwelling in me my actions will reveal such. I would get easily frustrated and angry with my husband over little things but that is not of God. He told me to read II Corinthians 13
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Women, look around when you go to church. We are lacking our men. The Enemy is attacking our men physically, spiritually, and mentally. The Enemy does not want marriages to work. If you are wonder why…it is simple…Marriage is ordained by God. Marriage is a covenant made between one man and one woman and the piece that holds it together is GOD. The enemy knows is cannot eliminate God so he goes for the next best thing…God’s creation…either the Man or Woman.
Women…we have to fight for our marriages as if our life depends on it. We can’t just give up because we believe our husband “breach the contract”. We have to let the Enemy know We know who he is and fight him just like Jesus did…with the Word.
Women lets be like the virtuous women in Proverbs 31 “…she openeth her mouth with wisdom and her tongue is the law of kindness…” Let us lift our men up to Christ. Let us all conduct a self evaluation and commit to changing our ways. Let us commit to loving our husband as whole heartedly for we know no matter what obstacles that come if we love and show love no matter what we will win “…and now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love” II Corinthians 13:13.

I am sharing this with you all because through my self evaluation I realize that I was not praying a sincere prayer to God I was only complaining. I realized that I loved my husband but I was only showing him love when he showed me love. Finally, I was not respecting him as the head of my household. We are instructed to respect our husbands in Ephesians 5:32.

To all my the women living for Christ…have you conducted a self evaluation of yourself? Are you praying a sincere prayer or are you complaining to God? Do you love your husband the way His Word instructs us to or are you showing him love according to what he does for you? Are you showing your husband you love him? Are you respecting your husband as the Head of the Household?

Written by Shajunia Snider Brown

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Love

Love – a word that comes and goes, but few people really know what it means to really love somebody. Kirk Franklin

Ladies, how are we loving our husbands? Do we really know what it means to love our husbands? Marriage can be the most intense environment for practicing love. I have learned that I can’t do this thing on my own, I have to love with God’s love. That’s where I was falling short in my marriage. I was trying to love my husband with my own love (which really wasn’t love) and I failed EVERY TIME. Loving with God’s love allowed me to love my husband even when he had mistreated me. My life and marriage work better when I love with God’s love, which is the only way we can love right! I don’t always get it right, but I’m still learning what it means to love with Christ’s love.

Talking to God about your husband is an act of love. Stormie Omartian (author of The Power of a Praying Wife) says - Prayer is the Ultimate love language. It communicates in ways we can’t. Something happens to our hearts when we pray for another person. The hardness melts. We become able to get beyond the hurts, and forgive. We even end up loving the person we are praying for. It’s miraculous! It happens because when we pray we enter into the presence of God and He fills us with His Spirit of love. When you pray for your husband, the love of God will grow in your heart for him. Not only that, you’ll find love growing in his heart for you, without him even knowing you are praying.

I have asked God many times how can I pray for him and I don’t even like him right now! Then
I began to look at my husband through God’s eyes. Knowing that God loves my husband just as much as He loves anybody helped me to see him the way God sees him. Seeing your husband as a son whom God loves can be a great revelation. Stormie Omartian

It is often easier to pray about our mates than it is to pray for them. “Lord, I don’t like what he is doing…” That is praying about our husband. But the Scripture says that even if someone has despitefully used you, you are to pray for that person. Praying for our husbands has nothing to do with our rights, how we are treated, or what the he may be doing. It is our responsibility, no matter what the circumstances. When we pray for our husbands, we have the privilege of seeing God work in his life as a result of our prayers. The greatest gift we can give to our precious husbands is to pray for them. Let’s love our husbands with the same kind of commitment that you already have to loving yourself. Jesus set the example for sacrificial love, let’s follow His example. How could your sacrificial love smooth over any areas of your marriage?

Challenge love your husband with God’s love. The only true love there is.

By Angelica Hamilton

Welcome to Remembering Our Vows to Pray and Stay Blog

Remembering our Vows to Pray and Stay is a marriage ministry. The primary vision for the ministry is to educate, encourage, and provide support for married couples. Eliminate the "D" word...divorce.

Conflict in marriage is inevitable. How we deal with conflict is the important issue. Half of all the couples marrying today will end in divorce. In previous generations it was not surprising to hear that a couple was celebrating their twenty-fifth, thirtieth, or even fiftieth wedding anniversary.

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