I just want to share my testimony about the power of prayer, self evaluation, and most of all Love. I have never participated in a community prayer, so when Stephanie invited me to call into the Morning Prayer on Thursday’s I was very hesitant. My marriage like several other marriages is not perfect. We have disagreements which leads to arguments that then leads to words being said that will eventually bruise that individual. This is how my marriage was going. Dr. Emerson Eggerich gave an awesome name for the actions that continued to occur in my marriage. Dr. Eggerich with Love and Respect called those events the “Crazy Cycle”. Even though I took responsibility for the things I may have done, did not do, say, or did not say, I continued to express to my husband what he was lacking to do, or say. He would always tell me “how can see my faults but can’t see yours”. I would just ignore him because I felt as though I entered our marriage under “false pretense”. I also felt as though he breached the contract for which we had both agreed too.
It was not until the Thursday morning I called in and actually poured my heart out to God. I didn’t speak my usual prayer of “Lord please change my husband. Lord open his eyes to see what he is doing wrong according to your word…” God lead me into a direction of praying that I had never done before. I began speaking about ME. I requested God to please show me what I am doing wrong. I asked him to please help me be the wife I was created to be according to His Word. I also asked God to help me be more SUBMISSIVE to the Head of my Household. I then began to hear His voice. It was so Loud and Clear I was overwhelmed. I believe God knew I was overwhelmed because it was if he gave me a hug and I was able to calm down to acknowledge, hear, and understand what he was saying to me. He sent me to his word Matthew 7:1-5:
1 “Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. 3 And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
When He said this to me I then understood what my husband was saying to me all along. We as women sometimes like to look at our spouses and blame them for all the wrong that occurs. We tend to “knit pick” every little thing our husband does wrong. We should take a step back and think about what have we done or did not do that could have contributed to the issue we are facing. We also have to realize that it is not our spouse we are fighting against but it is the ENEMY. According to Ephesians 6:10-12
Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. 11Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
He also made me aware that if I claim to have the Holy Spirit dwelling in me my actions will reveal such. I would get easily frustrated and angry with my husband over little things but that is not of God. He told me to read II Corinthians 13
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Women, look around when you go to church. We are lacking our men. The Enemy is attacking our men physically, spiritually, and mentally. The Enemy does not want marriages to work. If you are wonder why…it is simple…Marriage is ordained by God. Marriage is a covenant made between one man and one woman and the piece that holds it together is GOD. The enemy knows is cannot eliminate God so he goes for the next best thing…God’s creation…either the Man or Woman.
Women…we have to fight for our marriages as if our life depends on it. We can’t just give up because we believe our husband “breach the contract”. We have to let the Enemy know We know who he is and fight him just like Jesus did…with the Word.
Women lets be like the virtuous women in Proverbs 31 “…she openeth her mouth with wisdom and her tongue is the law of kindness…” Let us lift our men up to Christ. Let us all conduct a self evaluation and commit to changing our ways. Let us commit to loving our husband as whole heartedly for we know no matter what obstacles that come if we love and show love no matter what we will win “…and now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love” II Corinthians 13:13.
I am sharing this with you all because through my self evaluation I realize that I was not praying a sincere prayer to God I was only complaining. I realized that I loved my husband but I was only showing him love when he showed me love. Finally, I was not respecting him as the head of my household. We are instructed to respect our husbands in Ephesians 5:32.
To all my the women living for Christ…have you conducted a self evaluation of yourself? Are you praying a sincere prayer or are you complaining to God? Do you love your husband the way His Word instructs us to or are you showing him love according to what he does for you? Are you showing your husband you love him? Are you respecting your husband as the Head of the Household?
Written by Shajunia Snider Brown